If I Should Have a Daughter by Sarah Kay Response

This poem is meaningful and touching, in a personal way. It shows the poet’s connection to this future daughter, and her connection to the circumstances life throws. Her poem is personal, but can be applied to everyone, mother, daughter, father, son. I believe this poem shows how the poet will forever stand behind her daughter, making sure she’s okay, instructing her, and leading her.

One line that really struck me was “And when they finally hand you heartache, when they slip war and hatred under your door and offer you handouts on street-corners of cynicism and defeat, you tell them that they really ought to meet your mother.” This was interesting because you usually don’t think of your mom as someone who is willing to fight hardship and struggle to keep you intact. Mothers protect their young in every species in some way, whether it’s by carrying them in their wombs, or feeding them. This line speaks, because even in someone’s worst moment, in the midst of shame and sorrow, mothers are forgiving and present, arms wide open for their fallen children.

I think Sarah Kay wants her to learn that life can knock you down, but it’s necessary to get up. In one line, she says that life will knock you down, wait for you to get up, and hit you even harder. This makes me think about mothers who see their children suffer. I can only imagine the hurt a mom goes through when her child is sentenced, or in the hospital. I don’t think I can understand how painful it must be for a parent to see their child fail. I’ve noticed that when one of us (my siblings or I) does badly in something, my parents get angry. I’d expect frustration, but they seem genuinely mad. Maybe it’s because we’re the children money went into for so many things. Maybe it’s because my parents spent so long teaching us to walk, speak and read. Maybe it’s because they feel as if their child is still connected to them; when a child fails, the parents have failed too.

This poem reminds me of a book I read, “Dreams of Joy” by Lisa See. In it, the main character’s daughter ran away from home to Communist China after learning that she had grown up believing her aunt was her mother, and her husband was her father. Her family constantly told her that the People’s Republic of China wasn’t what she thought it was. Sadly, with her stubborn beliefs, she left home. She ended up marrying a peasant who mistreated her, having a child, and nearly starving to death. In the midst of all of this, her mother came to China, where she might never get out, to save her daughter. This kind of love is found in the poem. Sarah Kay says that her daughter will call her Point B, because she can always find her way to her mom. Instead, a loving mom followed her daughter into a dangerous situation to ensure her safety.